20141231

365/365

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The last day of the year 2014 is going to say goodbye in a few hours and listening to the sound of premature firecrackers and hissing rockets, I can not really comprehend that this year is already over.
I made some beautiful memories in this past 365 days. I finally realised my dream to live in Japan, I travelled to places I always wanted to go and I met wonderful people from all over the world. Looking back there are more good then bad memories, more moments to remember then to forget. This map shows the places I went to and I hope the next year will be full of travelling and good memories as well.

I have a few solutions for this year and I hope I going to stick with them:

- I finally want to start to blog regularly. This is something I am trying for years already and I never could to persevere it.
-I want my waist to go down on Pre-Japan times size. I gained six kilo in the year living in Japan and I have a hard time to handle my extra weight now.
-I want to finish my Kanji-learn programme Wanikani.
-I want to master the art of webdesign.
-I am going to do real business with my best girl.

But before all of this I want to be good. I want to be a better version of myself. I want to challenge and exceed myself and be the best version I can be.

I am ready for 2015.

20141201

#1: An ending is also a beginning

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It has been a while since I was "really" doing something the last time. My recent days are filled with monotony and a slight feel of solitude. I know, I should be grateful for this time, since I can not remember, when I was really free of any obligation or schedule. But still... The feeling that I waste my time, while only "relaxing", will not just go away. Therefore I decided it is time to wake up from this comfortable embrace of dull days and silent hours. I spent way too much time alone in my head thinking about this and that without coming to an conclusion.

It has been while since I was home. And still I am not home completely. My heart lingers in a faraway place, refusing to come back and here I sit, thinking, remembering, full and still empty. I tried to organize my photos on my external hard drive and every time I start I am only able to go through some pictures and videos and before I know I just indulge myself in memories, completely forgetting time and location. I think I still need some time to sort this out.

After a year far away and seeing so much places and people, I wonder how everything can still be the same in this town and especially at home. I guess I am just too used to see something new everyday, every week and every month. And for that reason it seems so completely irrational, when something just plainly stays the same. 

My travels are over for the time being and settling down for a longer time now, is a little bit odd and unwanted, because my wanderlust is not even slightly satisfied, but I just tell myself it is for now. And I am too broke to go anywhere else anyway. For now I just try to enjoy being at home, being fed 2 meals a day and having a soft bed to sleep in.

Somehow I have a feeling that something is somehow irretrievable over. A new chapter is opening. Trying to figure out where to go next is scary without compass and map. But I guess without having a given direction any option and way is open. Even if I am scared of the future, this is kind of comforting.